Feb, 28th 1946
Kunming
staying with Chang Shiro to Mar, 2
Dearest Wilma,
...［1］此处有删节。I am at last again in Kunming, of the three things I came here for, one at least has been thoroughly realized, as you know, I came here to have a good opportunity to become well, then I came to see the uniquely glorious lights and colors of this sun-soaked wind-teased and flower-filled city and lastly, and not least , I came not only to see again but to communicate with my old friends, the first two objectives were not yet realized, since I am still as sick as, and even less well than when I was in Chongqing, and have been confined to bed ever since my arrival. But of the last, I do now enjoy more than ever, when I had hoped that I would be able to enjoy, but even the most extravagant hopes I had entertained when I was alone in Lichuang and he compared with the real and over-whelming delightful experience of these days.
It took 11 days to get all sorts of odd information of both the lives progressing along under to special circumstances of Kunming and the lives lived in their inevitable pattern in Li-chuang community straightened out for the convenience of the conversing friends now at last meet and gather here, the old bridge of deep mutual love and understanding set up and expanded in less time than any of us has expected it to take. In two days or so, we know very perfectly where each of us has been emotionally and intellectively.
Views on national political situations, family economics, persons and societies, in and out of wars in general, were freely discussed and none of us has difficulty understanding how each of us come to feel and think that way. Even when the conversations were most ramble, there is always between the several of us that soothing flow of limpid current of mutual confidence and interest, not to say the added new gratification and fresh stimulations which are the result of this sudden coming together at an eventful time.
...［1］此处有删节。Not until this time was I aware of the delights of ancient （say TANG or Sung,）poets who had lacked means to travel suddenly encountered their friends en route to their meager official poets here and there in a little inn, or on the same river in boats, or in a temple with monks as their hosts. How they had poured out their souls to each other in their long talks!
Our age may be different from theirs, but our meeting this time has many similar points, we have all aged greatly, gone through peculiar form of poverty and sicknesses endured long war and poor communications and are now apprehending great national stifles, and a difficult future.
Besides, we meet at a place distanct from our home and where we were compelled to live by circumstances and not by choice, the longing for going back to the place where we spent are happiest times are somewhat like the Tang people for their 长安［1］此处原文系中文。, and Sung people for their 汴京［2］此处原文系中文。, we are torn and shattered, we emerged through various trials with new integrity good ,bad or indifferent; we have not only tasted life, but have been tested by its grimness and hardship; We loose much of our health though none of our faith, we know now certain enjoyment of life and suffering are one.
...［3］此处有删节。How am I to describe it all!!! Everything that is most beautiful standing sentry all around the garden, up in the clear blue sky and down below the cliffs and beyond to where the hills are. ...［4］此处有删节。This is my tenth day in this new house. I have already grown so used to this place that now I have lost the urge to describe to you the variety of furniture, the ingeniousness furnishing in this room, the room is so spacious and the window so large that is has the effect of early Gordon Greig stage design. Even the sun light in the afternoon seemed to have obeyed his instruction by coming through the window in a certain illusive manner with splashes of fraint morning shadows thrown on the ceiling by the swaying branches outside. ［5］本部分文字系林徽因对张奚若为她安排居住的唐家花园的描述。
If only Lao-chin and I would invent dialogue to suit, it could have been a part of a masterpiece of a drama. I am sure. But he sat at present at a little round table with his back against the light and myself hat on as usual, and intent on his writing.
...The height and whatever it is that is so trying to me, made me so short breathed that often I felt like one who had just run for many miles. I had to be ever so much more quiet than when I was down inSichuan, In order to give myself the rest I need. Since I am not allowed to talk at all, then I manage to have a little more than allowed my ration. This so called “conversation” is often slack and broken and really not doing justice to this setting, but then such is life.
Kunming is still beingKunming, and this garden knows its own charms. The only questions remained be myself which is unfortunately still too cock-eyed in health and spirit. ...［1］此处有删节。I am mostly alone, very quiet and getting a good deal of rest...［2］此处有删节。
All my love to you and J.
Phyllis
［译文］
最亲爱的慰梅：
我终于又来到了昆明！我来这里是为了三件事，至少有一件总算彻底实现了。你知道，我是为了把病治好而来的，其次，是来看看这个天气晴朗、熏风和畅、遍地鲜花、五光十色的城市。最后但并非最不关重要的，是和我的老朋友们相聚，好好聊聊。前两个目的还未实现，因为我的病情并未好转，甚至比在重庆时更厉害了——一到昆明我就卧床不起。但最后一件我的享受远远超过了我的预想。这次重逢所带给我的由衷的喜悦，甚至超过了我一个人在李庄时最大的奢望。我们用了十一天才把在昆明和在李庄这种特殊境遇下大家生活中的各种琐碎的情况弄清楚，以便现在在我这里相聚的朋友的谈话能进行下去。但是那种使我们得以相互沟通的深切的爱和理解却比所有的人所预期的都更快地重建起来。两天左右，我们就完全知道了每个人的感情和学术近况。我们自由地讨论着对国家的政治形势、家庭经济、战争中沉浮的人物和团体，很容易理解彼此对那些事为什么会有那样的感觉和想法。即使谈话漫无边际，几个人之间也情投意合，充溢着相互信任的暖流，在这个多事之秋的突然相聚，又使大家满怀感激和兴奋……
直到此时我才明白，当那些缺少旅行工具的唐宋时代的诗人们在遭贬谪的路上，突然在什么小客栈或小船中或某处由和尚款待的庙里和朋友不期而遇时的那种欢乐，他们又会怎样地在长谈中推心置腹！
我们的时代也许和他们不同，可这次相聚却很相似。我们都老了，都有过贫病交加的经历，忍受了漫长的战争和音信的隔绝，现在又面对着伟大的民族奋起和艰难的未来。
此外，我们是在远离故土，在一个因形势所迫而不得不住下来的地方相聚的。渴望回到我们曾度过一生中最快乐的时光的地方，就如同唐朝人思念长安、宋朝人思念汴京一样。我们遍体鳞伤，经过惨痛的煎熬，使我们身上出现了或好或坏或别的什么新品质。我们不仅体验了生活，也受到了艰辛生活的考验。我们的身体受到严重损伤，但我们的信念如故。现在我们深信，生活中的苦与乐其实是一回事。
……我该如何描述啊！所有最美丽的东西都在守护着这个花园，如洗的碧空、近处的岩石和远处的山峦……这是我在这所新房子里的第十天。我已经适宜待在这里，以致我失去了向你描述房间里各样家具和精巧陈设的冲动。这房间宽敞、窗户很大，使它有一种如戈登·克雷早期舞台设计的效果。甚至午后的阳光也像是听从他的安排，幻觉般地让窗外摇曳的桉树枝丫把它们缓缓移动的影子映洒在天花板上！
如果我和老金能创作出合适的台词，我敢说这真能成为一出精彩戏剧的布景。但是此刻他正背着光线和我，像往常一样戴着他的遮阳帽，坐在一个小圆桌旁专心写作。
这里的海拔或是什么别的对我非常不利，弄得我喘不过气来，常觉得好像刚刚跑了几英里。所以我只能比在李庄时还更多地静养。他们不让我多说话，尽管我还有不少话要说。可是这样的“谈话”真有点辜负了那布景。
昆明永远那样美，不论是晴天还是下雨。我窗外的景色在雷雨前后显得特别动人。在雨中，房间里有一种难以言状的浪漫氛围——天空和大地突然一起暗了下来，一个人在一个外面有个寂静的大花园的冷清的屋子里。这是一个人一生也忘不了的……
爱你和正清。
菲丽丝
一九四六年二月二十八日
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